Juno Was a Tease. Oh and Kim K.

Don't get me wrong, I will take any excuse to not go in to work. Plus being born and raised in Florida means snow is extra thrilling. So I welcomed this so-called state of emergency blizzard named Juno with open arms, and was looking forward to bundling up indoors with Netflix, complex carbs like Cheetos, (that I was worried New York would suddenly run out of in 48 hours) and my fleece onesie.

But like every other aspect of his term, Bill de Blasio was once again a hype girl, and made New Yorkers look like a bunch of wussies that can't weather a few inches of snow. However, I still took advantage of the snow day, making the trek up to CP so I could take the perfect basic betch photo of the views from the boat basin and Sheeps Meadow. I even had had a Starbucks in my hand, a cigarette, Ray-Ban mirrored lens glasses, and a hot pink beanie on. I was one Instagram-of-Uggs-in-the-snow-away form actually becoming a basic betch.

It was fucking freezing, and I kept expecting to see Kim Kardashian prancing around in her furkini. I'll take any excuse to hashtag "boots with the fur," but why would she wear a merkin for her 25 million followers, and WHY HAS NO ONE MENTIONED THIS YET?!

mer·kin:   noun \ˈmərkə̇n\ An artificial covering of hair for the pubic hair. AKA a pubic wig.

@kimkardashian Instagram

Oh by the way, I'm writing again.