Friday, January 30, 2015

Best Headline, EVER

So last night I was checking my email on my phone, and I received an email that made me stop in my tracks. After years of overexposure to TMZ, The Soup, Perez Hilton, E!, etc., it takes a lot to shock me. But this my friends, did it.



Don't get me wrong. I am an avid listener and supporter of rap & hip-hop, and if I could come back as anyone on this planet, it would be the icon of our generation, Ricky Rozay. So yes, I was intrigued by Suge Knight's headline. But below, in all it's glory, US Weekly wrote the best copy of all time - "Padma Lakshmi Posts Amazing Bikini Pic, But Is That a Penis?"


I'm sorry....did you just think you would slip such a headline past us? AND WHY IS THAT NOT THE TOP BREAKING NEWS?


(To be fair, the story was a complete let down because Padma herself suggested it was a penis on her Instagram caption, which completely kills this story, but in the line of fair, and ethical journalism, I felt the need to mention it. Because after all, this is an ethical, morally-sound blog right? Just wait till it gets nominated for a Pulitzer, bitches)


Oh, TGIF, and I'll be sure to charge my phone battery tonight.

Tuesday, January 27, 2015

Juno Was a Tease. Oh and Kim K.

Don't get me wrong, I will take any excuse to not go in to work. Plus being born and raised in Florida means snow is extra thrilling. So I welcomed this so-called state of emergency blizzard named Juno with open arms, and was looking forward to bundling up indoors with Netflix, complex carbs like Cheetos, (that I was worried New York would suddenly run out of in 48 hours) and my fleece onesie.

But like every other aspect of his term, Bill de Blasio was once again a hype girl, and made New Yorkers look like a bunch of wussies that can't weather a few inches of snow. However, I still took advantage of the snow day, making the trek up to CP so I could take the perfect basic betch photo of the views from the boat basin and Sheeps Meadow. I even had had a Starbucks in my hand, a cigarette, Ray-Ban mirrored lens glasses, and a hot pink beanie on. I was one Instagram-of-Uggs-in-the-snow-away form actually becoming a basic betch.

It was fucking freezing, and I kept expecting to see Kim Kardashian prancing around in her furkini. I'll take any excuse to hashtag "boots with the fur," but why would she wear a merkin for her 25 million followers, and WHY HAS NO ONE MENTIONED THIS YET?!

mer·kin:   noun \ˈmərkə̇n\ An artificial covering of hair for the pubic hair. AKA a pubic wig.




@kimkardashian Instagram

Oh by the way, I'm writing again.